Subjective Truth

A concept exploration of Fragmented Perspective (2020).

Before I was born my mother bought herself three Lladro porcelain ballerinas for her birthday. She thought her children would be dancers. Flash forward 30 years and I am most definitely not a ballerina. It seems like an evolutionary flaw and gift that humans are only able to experience their own perspective. She lovingly looked into her optimistic future and saw her daughter as being delicate, beautiful, disciplined, and successful. I view her very wrong expectations as insulting and burdensome. She looks at this porcelain figurine and only sees young hope and love and all I can see is anger and naive heartbreak. I don’t think that makes either one of us wrong and I don’t think it means either one of us did anything wrong.

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The Survivalist Appearance

A deeper look into Where do I put It (2019).

In human civilization’s early history survival mainly depended on being physically and mentally able to hunt or gather. To earn food and shelter you had to be part of a community and physically able to contribute to the actual acquiring of the food and the actual creation of the shelter.

Today in our metropolitan society individual survival is dependent on very different abilities. The main one I have noticed is the ability to sell. On the most basic fundamental level, survival is dependent on being able to keep a steady job so you have money to buy quality food and shelter. But how do you acquire and keep the good steady job? You have to be able to write a convincing resume that sells the prospective employer on hiring you. You have to be able to convince said employer who you just met during a 30 minute interview how amazing you are for the mysterious prospective job. Then if you actually get said job, you go into work every day and try no to piss anyone off too badly so they fire you. Or work with anyone that pisses you off too badly to the point of wanting to murder them on a daily basis. Which will also (probably) end with leaving the job one way or another (hopefully not because of jail time).

That is a LOT of salesmanship. That is a whole lot of being able to present your best self while hiding all your flaws and issues just so at the end of the day you have enough “society points” raked up so you can eat and sleep in comfort.

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Tiny Bites

An overly long, and probably unnecessary, deeper look into the inspiration behind my newest art work, Weather Peace.

This piece was an attempt at self- acceptance. I could say something like, “I was diagnosed with hereditary chronic depression three years ago and since then have received continual treatment”. But that doesn’t sound true at all. In my personal experience there is nothing that feels “medical” or “treatable” about depression. For me there doesn’t seem to be anything concrete about depression that can be pinned down and understood.

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