Discipline VS Healthy Habit

The Goddess Transition project began with me trying to force myself to be more healthy. If you are a human who can communicate with other humans you have probably been introduced to the “cure all” that is yoga. There is the ongoing joke that whenever someone is complaining about literally anything an annoyingly optimistic listener will ask, “have you tried yoga?”. Not. Helping.

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Goddess Transition , 2021

Embroidery on Velum
12″ X 12″ X 12″

Goddess Transition is a visual representation of the mental change evoked by yoga. For the most part, our culture recognizes yoga as physical exercise.  But the physical benefits are a fortuitous byproduct. The goal of yoga isn’t about fighting your inner negativity, or getting in shape, or even avoiding back pain.  Instead it is about transforming the state of your mind allowing you to have an unobstructed view of the world and yourself. Not to judge but to observe. The true goal is to allow a cluttered mind to transition through the pathway of the breath and the heat of physical change to a place of clarity.  The continuous repetition of this transformative struggle is what leads to ubiquitous inner power.

A New way of Internet-ing (for me)

Tiny Moment Timline. May 2020- Jan 5, 2021. Click here for knitting pattern.

Social Media is something I am both addicted to and have participated half heartedly in. This doesn’t mean I want to become more immersed in the digital sphere (I check Instagram more than enough), just that I would like to do it with more intention.

Instead of so much spontaneous image sharing I want to try and have my sharing revolve around my thoughts first, images second.

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Subjective Truth

A concept exploration of Fragmented Perspective (2020).

Before I was born my mother bought herself three Lladro porcelain ballerinas for her birthday. She thought her children would be dancers. Flash forward 30 years and I am most definitely not a ballerina. It seems like an evolutionary flaw and gift that humans are only able to experience their own perspective. She lovingly looked into her optimistic future and saw her daughter as being delicate, beautiful, disciplined, and successful. I view her very wrong expectations as insulting and burdensome. She looks at this porcelain figurine and only sees young hope and love and all I can see is anger and naive heartbreak. I don’t think that makes either one of us wrong and I don’t think it means either one of us did anything wrong.

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Fragmented Perspective , 2020

Embroidery, Pen, Beading, Charcoal, Wire, Spray Paint, and Fabric on Canvas with Plexiglas Mirror Backing
21″ X 26″

Fragmented Perspective is the representation of subjective reality. Seven different people can look at the same item and have seven different experiences. Bias truth based on a million influencing factors; such as personal history, ideals, bad eyesight, color correctness, and many more that we aren’t even conscious of. Seven different honest impressions represented by seven different mediums: embroidery, pen, beading, charcoal, wire, spray paint, and fabric separated by cuts mimicking cracked glass in front of a plexiglass backing.

The Survivalist Appearance

A deeper look into Where do I put It (2019).

In human civilization’s early history survival mainly depended on being physically and mentally able to hunt or gather. To earn food and shelter you had to be part of a community and physically able to contribute to the actual acquiring of the food and the actual creation of the shelter.

Today in our metropolitan society individual survival is dependent on very different abilities. The main one I have noticed is the ability to sell. On the most basic fundamental level, survival is dependent on being able to keep a steady job so you have money to buy quality food and shelter. But how do you acquire and keep the good steady job? You have to be able to write a convincing resume that sells the prospective employer on hiring you. You have to be able to convince said employer who you just met during a 30 minute interview how amazing you are for the mysterious prospective job. Then if you actually get said job, you go into work every day and try no to piss anyone off too badly so they fire you. Or work with anyone that pisses you off too badly to the point of wanting to murder them on a daily basis. Which will also (probably) end with leaving the job one way or another (hopefully not because of jail time).

That is a LOT of salesmanship. That is a whole lot of being able to present your best self while hiding all your flaws and issues just so at the end of the day you have enough “society points” raked up so you can eat and sleep in comfort.

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Where do I put It , 2019

Spray Paint and Thread on Canvas
25″ X 50″

Is the expression of never being able to show your real feelings. Today one of the most important survival skills a person can have is being able to sell themselves. Being able to convince people of all your good qualities. Not only to be successful at a job but also socially and romantically. It is in your best interest that people see only what you want them to see. So where do you put the rest? Where do you put all your rageful, jealous, destructive, petty, gross, despairing, messy, and lonely thoughts and feelings? Emotions are energy. They cannot be created from nothing or completely destroyed, they can only transform. So in order to survive, where do you put all your inconvenient humanity?

Coalescence Series, 2019

Detail Cutout on Fabric
9″ X 11″

Coalescence Series is centered around combining the elements of four important periods of fashion history: Elizabethan fashion, French Revolution, 1920s, and 1940s. This series is a reflection of some of the most radical changes in fashion history that represent the cultural changes of that time in history.

Tiny Bites

An overly long, and probably unnecessary, deeper look into the inspiration behind my newest art work, Weather Peace.

This piece was an attempt at self- acceptance. I could say something like, “I was diagnosed with hereditary chronic depression three years ago and since then have received continual treatment”. But that doesn’t sound true at all. In my personal experience there is nothing that feels “medical” or “treatable” about depression. For me there doesn’t seem to be anything concrete about depression that can be pinned down and understood.

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